2002-04-03 ± 9:06 p.m.
again with the rambling.

I had a strong desire to share.

had being the operative word.

great thoughts always come to me in the shower or on the freeway...f'n figures.

today on the way home I was thinking about nietzsche and law school and the unbearable lightness of being (which I am reading for the second time...before I re-read one hundred years of solitude so that I can understand it. I do feel kinda silly re-reading the former as it's become a bit cliche to me since I heard it mentioned in high fidelity. anyhow, I've developed this weird issue where I only want to read books that have been translated into english...like I'm subconsciously boycotting english writers. hmmm....this was a long aside.) I started thinking about the whole eternal repetition bit and how the life of a standard "successful" person would pan out if repeated infinitely.

it would suck infinitely harder than it already does.

I know that I won't go down in the books next to einstein or even bill clinton...but I really can't go down like joe blow upper-middle-class-tax-bracket now can I? I think that the lure of stability and material wealth has obscured our concept of success. (duh you say...yes I know...but I am re-realizing from a different perspective.)

If all I leave behind is a bratty kid with a trust fund I've done us all a grave disservice.

I don't want a "legacy" or "infamy" or "stardom"...I want people to remember me as someone who actually succeeded. who actually helped people. who, perhaps did it for the warm fuzzy feeling she got inside, but who also did it for the change she could affect outside.

making $140,000 a year is not success. it's so common that it might as well not exist.

our choices won't replay for infinity in the sense that nietzsche postulated...but in some hokey-psuedophilosopical way they will serve as the reoccuring measurement of our contributions long after we're gone.

yeah for pointless drivel!

what's love got to do with it? - 2004-09-29
noquierosoyabogada - 2004-09-21
I do not aspire to be cast in a lawyer joke - 2004-02-10
update - 2003-11-04
girl...you'll be a woman...soon. - 2003-08-12