2002-03-19 ± 7:12 p.m.
you will take the heavy stuff and you will drive the car....

many people believe that the tallest fastest roller coaster in the world is the millennium force at cedar point ("america's rockin roller coast") in sandusky, ohio. well let me tell you...I've ridden that coaster...4 or 5 times over the past two summers...once in the front car even...and it does not hold a fuckin candle to the roller coaster I've been riding for the past 9 months.

maybe that's why, as we grow older, we stop seeking so many thrills. we find out that being scared shitless or feeling our stomach drop really isn't that comforting.

while I was in ann arbor last week denis and I went to lunch with jen, the friend I backpacked around europe with. she sent me an e-mail today, tell me how much fun she had and how great she thought denis was...then she threw in..."Also wanted to tell you (but not in front of him) that you look really good! Just totally at ease and under control with your life (don't know if that's how things are, or if you're just good at projecting that image!). As I near graduation it gives me hope - that your are out there and doing well, so I just might be able to also."

I don't know who she was eating lunch with.

and when I called denis crying and bitching on sunday night (a little more than 12 hours after he'd dropped me off at detroit metro) he told me to kick my own ass...to stop crying about things that I can change. and he was right. and now I feel like a ninny. I've spent a lot of time in my life looking for sympathy. I used to go in my room and cry as a child just because I wanted my mother to come and hug me and ask me what was wrong. at 5 that's understandable....at 22 it's discpicable.

so I am going to stop fishing for hugs and kisses and "I love you"s and start churning out some ass kicking and name taking.

what's love got to do with it? - 2004-09-29
noquierosoyabogada - 2004-09-21
I do not aspire to be cast in a lawyer joke - 2004-02-10
update - 2003-11-04
girl...you'll be a woman...soon. - 2003-08-12