2002-02-25 ± 6:56 p.m.
this too shall pass

in the midst of an era obsessed with prozac and zoloft and every other "make my world the mickey mouse club" drug, it's hard to decipher clinical from abso-fucking-lutely normal.

we were not meant to hover calmly over contentment. we are meant to work and sweat for the privilege of peace of mind.

and I assume that this strand of almost-logic should direct me toward the conclusion that my massive mood swings (which operate like clockwork...I bet you can guess which clock)will just have to be a massive part of me.

every month, the week before Eve's stupid mistake decides to haunt me, I become excruciatingly miserable. I feel at the end of my rope...desperately hanging on to that unraveling piece of twine that connects me to "civilized" society.

this weekend was it. happy as my housewarming might have been...I was crying on the phone and feigning enjoyment in the club.

I went to planned parenthood last week and I'll start my little pills on sunday...maybe they'll kick my hormones into shape...perhaps they'll send them running for the aforementioned mood stabilizers.

I just hate rationalizing that for one week out of the month I'm not "myself." because I am. myself. just a very over-amplified, pessimistic version of myself.

just the myself that I, myself, don't like.

shit I sound like a wack job.

what's love got to do with it? - 2004-09-29
noquierosoyabogada - 2004-09-21
I do not aspire to be cast in a lawyer joke - 2004-02-10
update - 2003-11-04
girl...you'll be a woman...soon. - 2003-08-12